I am living a lie. I just discovered this fact. I am living my life like a happy person, but, I am not. I am trying SO hard to mask the fact that I am imperfect and flawed, that I am willing to make myself and others truly unhappy in the process. I am living my life for other peoples success and have for a long time. I am just peoples entertainment and nothing else. I have been the clown for a quite a while now. So long, that I forgot how to live and maintain a real life. Real relationships. Real talk.
I tell myself that I am trying to figure it out, but, am I?
I tell myself that I am going to get it together, but, am I?
I try to tell myself that I am fine and that things ARE going to get better.. Are they?
I am like a broken record. Not the fact that I repeat myself and my actions so much, but, just the broken part.
I just feel like I can't fix me. I know that nobody else can. I truly feel like I have given up a long time ago and have not the slightest idea how to get that spark back and make things right again.
If I could only afford therapy... I would keep a psych RICH!!
Anyway, enough about me.. How are things with you?
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